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Here lies the products of yesterday.
Gone but not forgotten.
Loved but not In-Loved.
Cherished for their greatness.
Our fallen heroes of latherdom...

Pale Blue Dot Soap Company's

Our 2014 Limited Release Special: Drunken Urchin

The sky was blue and the clouds were grey, but we had at least a whole night of booze to get through so we weren't going anywhere. Steve had eaten the last of the crab cakes and everyone was getting cranky. That's when Tina brought out the sea kelp salad. It would tide us over but we all knew eventually there'd be trouble.

O'Brien slammed a fist into the table and rose from his seat. "I will have no more of this. Friends, tonight we dine on urchin. The Great Spiny One, Devil Queen of the Sea!"

The men cheered. The woman screamed, except Gretchen who grabbed a spear with the men. And we headed out to sea. Skinny Dave danced the forbidden dance, "The Seaweed Shuffle, raising the beast from its salty slumber. When the water began to churn and her spines began to rise, we loaded O'Brien into the catapult. When we saw the white of her periproct, we let loose the Irishman. We watched that beautiful bastard soar through the sky and land gracefully between her pedicellaria. He soothed her with the ancient Irishmen's massage, rubbing his facial follicles in the shape of a pint upon her epidermis.

Once the beast was calm, we abandoned the boat and rode The Great Spiny One home. We even impaled a healthy bounty of fish with her spines along the way! We toasted her with the last of the good whiskey before we sliced her up and grilled her on the fires.

The Great Spiny One, Devil Queen of the Sea, Preserver of Life. We will be forever in your debt.

This majestic sea voyage in a bar is specially formulated for extra hydration.
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